Allen's Domination: Book I
by CherriAme
Summary: In which Allen was bored, and decided to try his hand on world domination... starting with Black Order.
1. Rule 0: Begin the Plan

**Disclaimer:** Standard disclaimer applies.

**Note: **This will be a series of drabbles.

**Warning:** Attempted crack.

* * *

Allen was lying down on his bed, staring at the ceiling as he counted the small dots. He was bored out of his mind, and there was nothing to do. Just yesterday, he had cleaned Komui's office with the help of Reever, Johnny and other scientists. Of course, Komui had 'helped' them… if only to create another mess. Allen then turned to his side, still bored, as he stared at the only poster in his room.

Suddenly, he had a brilliant idea… so brilliant that he almost fell out of his bed. Since there weren't any missions lately, he had time to pull this off. With that thought in mind, he sat up and let out a mechanical grin that mirrored the 14th's.

"World domination, why didn't I think of that?" Allen muttered with a smirk, and then let out a frown when he realized that he did not have a clue how to go about this.

"Maybe I should start with something smaller… yeah… say, something like Black Order…" he continued with his monologue, nodding in silent agreement as he stood up, "Now… every world dominator needs an evil assistance… I wonder who I should hire for this job."


	2. Rule 1: Get an Assistance

**Disclaimer:** Standard disclaimer applies.

**Warning:** Attempted crack.

* * *

And thus, Allen began shuffling through – in his mind – what little information he knew about his fellow comrades. He was going to need someone cunning… someone who would follow his order to the dot and not question it… someone who wouldn't make fun of him… and most importantly, someone who he could tolerate to work with.

"Now… it's hard to find someone who fits that bill…" Allen murmured as he walked down the hallway of Order.

/Oi, oi, just what are you planning, Allen?/

Allen nearly tripped when he heard the voice in his subconscious mind, and looked up at a window to see the 14th standing over his shoulder. "Uncle Neah?"

/You're not planning any mischiefs without me, are you?/ the Noah inquired with an eyebrow raised.

"Uh…" the silvery white haired exorcist trailed off, not knowing what to say.

/Great! Now that you got an awesome co-dominator – that's me, by the way – we can truly begin with our plan,/ Neah stated with great enthusiasm. His golden amber eyes practically glinted with mischief and playfulness.

Allen let out a defeated sigh when he heard Neah's declaration of announcing himself as a co-dominator, _not_ assistance. Besides, it was his plan to begin with… At that thought, he let out a pout and grumbled since there was nothing he could do since the 14th was within him.

Allen let out another sigh as he resigned to his fate, and concluded, 'Oh well, it's just a little set back. No big deal… right? Even though Uncle Neah only meets 1 out of 4 requirements that I set up…'

/Now, first things first… every world dominator needs shades,/ Neah stated sagely with a nod, interrupting his nephew's inner monologue.

"Why?"

/What do you mean, 'why'?/ Neah let out a twitch, inwardly wondering what his darling nephew has been learning these days. /They're very handy, especially when one is dominating the world. Now, go buy us some sunglasses!/

Allen could not help but wonder how his Uncle Neah knew what to do when it came to world domination. Well, he was planning to begin with Order; but same difference. Right?


	3. Rule 2: Obtain a Pair of Shades

**Disclaimer:** Standard disclaimer applies.

**Warning:** Attempted crack.

* * *

Allen did not know how he got Komui's permission to go to town, but he got the permission. Perhaps it was due to the fact that the said supervisor was half-asleep, and mumbling about "octopi", "Lenalee", and whatnot. But he was not sure, and he did not want to stick around to find out either.

"Oh well," the silvery white hair exorcist shrugged as he stepped out of the office, and began on his secret mission. Not that it really was a mission, but still! He was on his way to dominate the Black Order, and no one except he and Uncle Neah knew about it. And thus, with a gleeful and sadistic smirk (how he managed to combine the two, Neah never did figured out), Allen went to the town nearby to buy some sunglasses.

Because his job did not earn him any money (which according to Allen makes the world go around and then some), he had to use his special skill to _earn_ some money to buy the shades.

/I can't believe my innocent darling nephew has to resort to thievery,/ Neah wept as he wiped away an invisible tear.

Allen, on the other hand, did not bother to comment on it as he arrived to a stand that sold shades. "What do you think of this one?" he asked while he put on a pair of sunglasses.

/Too tacky./

"How about this?" Allen switched to another pair.

/I don't know how you can look dorky wearing sunglasses, but you do./

"Then this?" Allen twitched.

/Too round,/ Neah answered in a bored tone.

"This?"

/Too… wait, that's perfect!/ the 14th answered with renewed energy as he watched his darling nephew put on the sunglasses, and added with an elegant snort, /Of course, it'll look more awesome on me than it will be on you. Anyway, pay for it and let's go./

Allen sighed, inwardly wondering why –oh why – did he have to put up with a Noah like him. Then again, better Neah than other Noah members. With the 'perfect' pair of shades in hand, Allen paid for it whilst silently weeping at the loss of coins. He loves gaining money, you know, and if it weren't for a certain General who goes by the name of Cross Marian, Allen would have been rich.

/Oi, stop daydreaming and get walking,/ Neah commanded.

Allen murmured a few choices of words about how demanding his uncle was, and trudged back to Order, looking stylishly cool with his new pair of sunglasses.

And the salesman who sold the sunglasses? He was left speechless, wondering if the customer (aka: Allen) was alright since he was talking to himself. Then again… talking to oneself _could_ be the new 'in' thing, and he might've missed the memo.


	4. Rule 4: Attempt to Find a Theme Song

**Disclaimer:** Standard disclaimer applies.

**Warning:** Attempted crack.

**Note:** [laughs] I just realized that each drabble is getting longer than the previous one. I guess it's not a bad thing?

Many thanks to those who read, reviewed, favorited, and/or alerted this fic. [bows]

* * *

/You know… I just realized that we're missing something important,/ Neah murmured as he tapped his chin thoughtfully.

Allen let out a twitch of irritation when he realized that Neah was not going to continue unless he said something. And he did, if only to subdue his curiosity, "And what is that?"

This whole thing was his plan to begin with, and he was not going let his uncle best him. But for now, he'll be nice and let Neah take control… _for now._

/We don't have a theme song,/ the 14th blurted out in a scandalous tone as if that in itself was a crime.

"…So?" the younger male responded in a polite uncaring tone only he could pull off.

/Every world dominator needs a theme song,/ and so, Neah launched into a full-blown explanation with a completely detailed chart that included pictures. Although if one asked Allen, Neah needed to work on his artistic ability since the pictures looked like chicken scratches. Of course, he was not going to tell his uncle that.

/It has to be catchy, but unique. Most importantly, it has to represent us!/ was how Neah's explanation ended. It lasted five minutes and twelve seconds from the beginning to the end. Allen counted while he was tuning out the other parts of the explanation.

"We can use the Ark's song," Allen offered helpfully whilst he watched the Noah trying to regain his breath from explaining the importance of having the theme song.

/Non, non, non!/ the 14th immediately responded whilst he wagged his finger in the process.

Allen raised an eyebrow at the gesture as he inwardly wondered, 'When did he learn French?'

/Have you not been paying attention to my awesome explanation? I even drew pictures to make it easier for you understand./

'Not really… and your pictures made it harder to understand,' the silvery white haired exorcist replied in his mind, and let out a pout as his thought continued, 'And this is my idea to begin with, why are you in charge?'

/-It has to capture people's attention, and make them pay attention to us,/ with that, another one of Neah's awesome explanation came to a halt. Although it was a shorter version of his previous 'enlightenment', it lasted three minutes and fifty-one seconds. Allen counted yet again.

"How about this song? It's called 'Brightdown'," Allen suggested as he began playing the piano. He was not as experienced of a player as Neah is, but his play was decent if one asked him. "At least until we find another one that's better," he added before Neah could protest and launch into another long explanation. Hearing two in the last ten minutes was more than enough for him, thank you very much.

The Noah let out a huff, and muttered, "That works… for now," whilst adorning a small scowl of dismay. He wanted something cool and awesome; after all, he was the Musician, and if his darling yet impatient nephew wasn't going to think of a good theme song to go with this 'project', he will. Besides, every world dominator needs a cool and awesome theme song to announce his arrival.

Speaking of arrival…

/Allen!/

"Y-yes?" the said person responded in alarmed, startled when his uncle called his name suddenly.

/We can't dominate Black Order, much less the world, if you don't look the part,/ Neah sighed as he shook his head exasperatedly, as if he was embarrassed by Allen's attires.

"What's wrong with my clothes?" Allen twitched.

/Everything. And what's wrong with you, lad? You don't even have the cape,/ the 14th ranted as he massaged his temple, and added, /A cape is the essential part of a dominator's attire because they are there for making dramatically awesome entrance and exit. Now go find us a cape!/


	5. Rule 5: Don't Be Cheap

**Disclaimer:** Standard disclaimer applies.

**Warning:** Attempted crack, overused of the word 'awesome'.

**Note:** A thank-you to Variation On Ink for the ideas ;D

Many thanks to those who read, reviewed, favorited, and/or alerted this fic. [bows]

* * *

"A cape?" Allen questioned with an eyebrow raised, "But don't I already have Crown Clown?"

He then gestured dramatically to his left arm which was black and all evil-like, what with it giving off an aura of Doomsday. Not that Allen knew how Doomsday felt like, but the aura that his arm gave off did give him shivers. Besides, his arm can transform into a giant sword, and that in itself was awesome, no?

An awkward silence blanketed the two 'dominators'. Allen was waiting for his uncle to say something, whilst Neah sweat dropped, not knowing what to say.

Allen let out an annoyed huffed as he crossed his arms together childishly, and said, "Doesn't this mean that I wasted 40 Guinea? **_40_** Guineas on a pair of crappy –"

/That's a lie!/ Neah interjected his protest with his feathers ruffled, and pretended he did not hear Allen repeated '40' twice. And for the record, he does not have feathers; but that's different if he were wearing a boa. Even then, he would have look pretty darn good, if he does say so for himself.

"Pair of shades when I already have Crown Clown's mask _and_ cape," the silvery white hair exorcist continued with his speech as if he was not interrupted. He was greatly annoyed that he wasted 40-bloody-Guinea on a single pair of useless sunglasses. Did Neah not understand the great importance of spending money wisely? After all, money makes the world go around and then some. And 40 Guineas could buy him all-you-can-eat buffet to last him a week, or perhaps two weeks, if he spent it wisely.

/Stop being so cheap! World domination isn't free, you know?/ the Noah retorted with a frown. He had totally forgotten about Crown Clown, but he was not going to admit to that tiny fact. Nope, not at all.

Besides, technically, he did not forget… he just did not want mention that bastard who is nearly as awesome as he is. Nearly, alright? After all, he represents awesome… in fact, please call him the 'King of Awesome'.

Ignoring that fact altogether, Neah cleared his throat to obtain his darling nephew's attention.

Allen, on the other hand, was sulking and pouting when he realized that his uncle just might turn out to be another General Cross. He really could not live through another trauma, and he certainly did not want to pay for mountains and mountains of debt.

/Oi, Allen, why are you not listening to the awesome me?/ the Noah pretended he did not see his nephew's death glare, and continued talking, /As I was saying while you were daydreaming, we need minions. Got anyone in mind?/

"Minions are for only there to mess up your plans. If you want something done, do it yourself," Allen mumbled, still depressed about his money loss.

Neah rubbed his chin thoughtfully with a pensive expression, and sagely nodded in agreement, /You're right, my awesome nephew. But you need to keep your friends close, and enemies closer./

"Does that mean we're going to hire the other Noah members?" the silvery white haired exorcist inquired with eyes widen, mouth agape, and his money loss forgotten.

/And we'll use any means possible, even if it'll cost you a bit of dignity,/ Neah chimed with a smirk since he was not going to be the one doing the 'negotiating'. /Of course, if you want my help, I'll be more than, _more than_, happy to help,/ he continued with an even bigger smirk, and an emphasis on 'more than'.

Allen let out a groan as he massaged his temple for the umpteenth time, and grumbled, "Why must you torture me so?"

/Because you're my darling nephew, and you're the only one who could see and hear the awesome me. Aren't _you_ special?/ Neah crackled as he basked in his own awesome-ness.

Allen instead mumbled under his breath that he should not have gotten up two hours ago. It was only nine o'clock, and he still had a long way to go before the day was over.


	6. Rule 6: Keep Secret Missions Secret

**Disclaimer:** Standard disclaimer applies.

**Warning:** Attempted crack

**Note:** Many thanks to those who read, reviewed, favorited, and/or alerted this fic. [bows]

* * *

Allen let out a tiniest frown as he swallowed his food, and took a long sip from his drink. Although he did not show it, he was tired; after all, having a discussion about dominating Black Order and then the world was not an easy task…especially if he had to be on guard for anyone and everyone that might walk in or hear him talking about it. It was pretty nerve wrecking if one asked Allen.

'So far, I've done nothing but _discussed_ about 'proper attires', and 'theme song',' the silvery white haired exorcist thought with a frown, and inwardly blamed Neah for wasting his time when he could be dominating something. 'Well, time isn't the only thing he wasted,' Allen's thought went back to the 40 Guinea he wasted on a pair of crappy sunglasses. Yes, he was not going to drop it.

Neah might say that the shades were not crappy, but awesomely stylish and cool; however, being a money-loving person that Allen is, those sunglasses were nothing but a waste.

"Allen, are you alright?" Lavi asked with a worry glint in his eye, and pointed out, "You've been frowning for the past five minutes."

The mentioned person blinked as he shook out of his monologue, and gave a smile in response, "It's nothing to worry, Lavi."

There was no way he was going to tell the Bookman apprentice about his secret mission. If he did tell the redhead, it would not be a secret anymore (it was not that he did not trust Lavi, but that it was a secret mission for a reason. Besides, secret missions are secret for a reason), and then virtually everyone would know about it. By everyone, he meant everyone in Black Order and Central; and if Central knew about it, Allen would never see the daylight again. Then, he would never hear the end of it from his uncle. It's a very dangerous domino effect. He has to be careful.

"Are you sure?" the older male asked with an eyebrow raised.

"Yes, don't worry about it," Allen answered with a polite smile as he took a sip of his cold beverage. His thoughts then travelled back to his mission… dominating Black Order. If it was only up to him, Allen would start with Jerry's kitchen… after all, food is the most essential thing in the world, next to money.

/Oi, Allen, how are we going to take over Black Order without arising suspicion?/ Neah questioned with an eyebrow raised.

Because the mentioned silvery white haired exorcist was sitting across from Lavi, he could not speak anything about dominating Order. Hence, in response, Allen shrugged as if he was stretching his shoulder muscles.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Lavi asked yet again in somewhat disbelief.

"Of course, why wouldn't I be?" Allen responded with a smile. He then had a brilliant idea (it was nearly as brilliant as the time when he decided to dominate Black Order and then the world), and decided to voice it out loud, "Say Lavi… hypothetically speaking, if you are going to take over Black Order, and I mean _if_, where would you start?"

"Hypothetically speaking, huh?" the redhead mumbled as he looked at his friend suspiciously for a few seconds, and finally answered, "Well, I would start with where the control center is… basically speaking, Komui's office. But I doubt he'll just give control to you like that, so you might need a hostage. Say… someone like Lenalee. You know he'd do anything for her. That's just my opinion, but why do you ask?"

"No reason, I've been bored lately, so random questions tend to run in my mind," Allen replied innocently, and added as an afterthought, "Thanks for the answer, by the way."

/You know… we'll need to ask him to join our dark side if he has a head like that,/ Neah murmured with furrowed eyebrows, /He'll be very useful in our world conquest./

"I wonder if he'll join if I offer him cookies," the silvery white haired exorcist mumbled under his breath.

/Only you, Allen, only you would say something like that,/ Neah sighed as he shook his head in amusement, and continued, /Well, at least we have an idea of what to do now; but the question is… how are we going to pull it off with just you?/

"…Good question," Allen murmured in sudden realization.

"Allen, are you absolutely indefinitely positive that you're feeling alright?" Lavi asked for the umpteenth time, and added as an afterthought, "You've been mumbling to yourself, and to tell you the truth, it's freaking me out a bit."

"Sorry Lavi, speaking to myself," the younger male responded with a sweat drop and an apologetic smile. "I'll try to remember not to do that again," he supplied helpfully.

The Bookman apprentice, on the other hand, merely shook his head in defeat whilst he could not help but think that there was something going with Allen. And he would most definitely wanted to know what that 'something' is… after all, as the saying goes: sharing is caring.


	7. Rule 7: Prepare a Ransom Note

**Disclaimer:** Standard disclaimer applies.

**Warning:** Attempted crack

**Note:** Well, my summer break is officially over as of today, and school is back in session. That means I would not have that much free time to write fics, unfortunately. I will, however, update whenever I can, which will most likely be on weekends now. That is, if I am not swamped with homework, readings, and reports. Anyways, putting my rants aside~

Many thanks to those who read, reviewed, favorited, and/or alerted this fic. [bows]

* * *

Allen chewed on his favorite food in the whole world, mitarashi dango as he contemplated about what Lavi had said. In fact, he had a plateful of empty dango sticks, and three full plates (more like mountains, if one asked Neah) sitting before him with a pot of tea. He thoughtfully chewed and let out a frown appear on his expression, and drowned the contents in his mouth with a cup of tea (with sugar added, of course).

"Uncle Neah, how are we going to hold Lenalee hostage without Komui finding out, and then murder us for even touching his 'precious sister'," Allen inquired as he chewed on a dango, and waited for an answer from the Noah.

/Well, that's something you'll have to figure out yourself,/ Neah responded oh-so-helpfully, and raised an eyebrow when he saw his nephew's scowl, /What? You want me to do all the work? I know we're 'co-dominators', but you have to do your share too./

The silvery white haired exorcist could not help but think that his _dear_ uncle did not have a plan, and that was the sole reason why this 'mission' was dumped onto him. At the thought, Allen clicked his tongue in annoyed, and angrily bit his dango.

An awkward silence blanketed the room, except for occasional chewing and slurping noises.

Neah was lazing about as he stared in awe at how much of mitarashi dango Allen could eat without getting sick of it. Then again, this is Allen, and that alone explained his eating habits. The young exorcist, on the other hand, was angrily munching on his snack whilst he inwardly blame the Noah for any future he troubles he would most likely encounter in this new mission. He was too young to die, dammit.

"How about we write a ransom note? Of course, you'll be the one writing it, Uncle Neah. I have a feeling that the Science Department already knows what my handwriting is like," Allen suggested after a while.

/Whatever you think will work, darling nephew,/ Neah answered ever-so-helpfully as if he was a bystander. Allen let out a twitch, and murmured a few choices of words about how the 14th was a narcissist, and a money waster.

After several minutes of 'quiet' debates of what to write, and how to write (while wasting several papers in the process), Allen let out a triumphant smirk when he finally finished making Neah write a ransom note. Just in time too, because he had already finished three more dozens of mitarashi dango, and he highly doubted he could eat another one. Well, he could… but he had a mission to complete. He can't dominate Black Order, much less the world, if he does not take action.

_'Komui, _

_I have decided to take over Black Order. If you do not want your precious sister, Lenalee, to be harmed in any shape or form, you will surrender your position and authority to me. Oh, and while we are at it, I demand you surrender the kitchen as well. _

_If you do not comply to my wishes by tomorrow midnight, I will capture your dear sister, and who knows what will happen to her then. _

_Arana'_

It was simple and to the point, if one asked him. He even used a secret code name while he was at it, just so no one can trace it back to him. After all, this was a secret mission; and secret missions require equally secretive and awesome (he did not steal that from Neah, by the way) alias.

'Hopefully, it will work,' Allen thought as he put the ransom note in an envelope, and walked out the door.

* * *

**Note:**

As you may be aware, there are many forms to write the name 'Allen', which is from a Gaelic origin. One of the forms, based on what I have searched online, is Arana (from a Maori origin). I wanted to use something that is similar to Allen's name, yet different. Hopefully, this kind of clears up any confusion you might have.

I am sure there are other meanings to the name 'Allen', but most of my searches stated that it means 'rock'. Whut?


	8. Rule 8: Know When to Make a Getaway

**Disclaimer:** Standard disclaimer applies.

**Warning:** Attempted Crack

**Note:** Hehehe... this chapter ended up being longer than I planned. Ah well~ next chapter will be the last one.

Many thanks to those who read, reviewed, favorited, and/or alerted this fic. [bows]

* * *

Allen let out a quiet snicker as he walked towards the supervisor's office with the ransom note in hand. As soon as this 'mission' is over, hopefully successfully, he would own Black Order and no one can do anything about it. The silvery white haired exorcist coughed a couple of times to hide his slowly escaping evil laughter. According to Neah, world dominators need to perfect his evil laughers since one never knows when it would come in handy.

Allen let a smirk that seemed rather maniacal, which he quickly wiped it off his expression when he reached in front Komui's office. He knocked a couple of times before he walked into a documents-scattered room. It was unsurprising to see Komui lazing about, and it was slightly amusing to see the older man trying to balance a pencil on top of his lips.

"Allen! What brings you here?" the supervisor inquired as soon as he saw the silvery white haired exorcist. The pencil that he had been amusing himself with had fallen into the sea of papers, and was immediately forgotten.

"I saw this letter outside your door," the mentioned exorcist stated as he held up his ransom note, and handed over to Komui, who gleefully took it as if he did not mind the distraction at all. "What does it say?" Allen inquired with slight interest even though he knew what the content of the letter was.

"Don't worry, Lenalee! Big brother will save you!" Komui shouted as he all but ran out the door.

Allen stood in spot, chuckling in amusement as he ignored glances from other scientists, and walked out of the door. "Phase 1 of the mission: complete," he murmured with a smirk.

xoxoxoxox

Allen had walked into the cafeteria to see and hear Komui sobbing over a confused Lenalee, asking her not to go out of his sight. It was pretty amusing to say the least.

/Heh, his sister-complex is interesting to see,/ Neah commented with a crackle, and added, /Hey, why don't you ask her to join in on the plan? Make her trust you. I'm sure you can do that./

"Let's see you do that then," Allen grumbled back with his arms crossed, and immediately added, "Actually no, I'll do that. I don't know what you might do…"

/I'm hurt, my darling nephew. You don't trust me?/ the Noah fake pouted.

Allen muttered something back along the line of, "I trust you enough to not trust you with this mission."

With that said, Allen headed over to Jerry to order his mountain of food ("Can't dominate anything on an empty stomach," was Allen's reasoning), and when the food was ready, he pushed his cart over to where the drama was unfolding. Komui was still bawling as he hugged Lenalee, who was trying to push her older brother away; it was embarrassing for her to see him acting like that.

"Nii-san! Get a hold of yourself!" the female exorcist chided and let out an exasperated sigh, "What has gotten to you?"

"Don't leave me, Lenalee!" the supervisor of Black Order cried as he held onto his sister tighter, much to the said girl's annoyance. "I need to go make more Komurin to protect you," Komui suddenly announced as he stood up and straightened himself before he rushed out of the room, leaving everyone baffled.

"What was that all about?" Lavi questioned with an eyebrow raised.

His query, however, remained unanswered as everyone in the room left it as that Komui was being weird again. Allen, on the other hand, let out a small snicker under his breath before he grabbed one of his plates. Kanda, sitting a couple of feet away, sent a questionable glance towards the silvery white haired exorcist and continued to eat his soba as if he did not hear Allen.

The swordsman concluded inwardly that, 'Moyashi was being a Moyashi,' and that alone explained everything.

/At least you're not found out yet,/ Neah grinned.

"Allen! Prepare yourself!" Komui shouted as he burst into the room once more, only this time… he had at least 20 Komurin in tow. "You won't succeed in your plan!" the supervisor declared triumphantly as he held his trusty drill in hands.

"Uh… what's going on?" Krory questioned in confusion by the turn of the event; and he wanted to know how Komui reappeared that quickly with 'reinforcements'. The Science Department was all the way on the other side of the building. Maybe there was a secret passage that he did not know yet… yeah, that has to be it.

"Your plans to take over Black Order are over! Over, I say!" Komui continued heroically, and added the most important note of all with his finger pointing at the silvery white haired exorcist, "And I won't hand over my sweet Lenalee either!"

Neah sweat dropped as he let out a nervous laughter and said, /Oops, spoke too soon. This is a good time as any to make a clean getaway./

"How did you find out, Komui-san?" Allen inquired with a slight amusement in his tone as a mitarashi dango stick stuck out from his mouth.

Komui let out a boisterous laughter and responded, "The kitchen part was obvious, and the name, of course. After all, I _am_ a genius, and a hero!" He even did a pose at the end of the statement, much the embarrassment of everyone in the room (except for Kanda, who did not turned around and continued eating his soba).

Allen nervously laughed as he grabbed as many mitarashi dango as he could carry, and ran away from room whilst yelling, "Thanks for the info!"

"Come back here, you octopus!" was what the supervisor of Black Order shouted as he ran after the silvery white haired exorcist with his drill turned on.

An awkward atmosphere filled the cafeteria as the Finders, and present exorcists watched the doorway for a few seconds. Komui's maniacal laughter echoed from somewhere down the hall every few seconds, which was followed by Allen's "Stay away from me!"

"No, seriously, what _is_ going on?" Lavi asked again.

"…I think Allen was trying to take over Black Order," Lenalee responded in an unsure tone and a puzzle expression planted on her expression.

"I know we haven't had any missions in a while, but was he _that_ bored?" Lavi mused with a small smirk escaping on his visage, and added, "He could've asked me to join in on the plan. Maybe that was why he asked that question the other day…"

No one knew what to say to that, and went about his or her businesses a few seconds later whilst ignoring the muffled screams outside the cafeteria.


	9. Rule 9: Because It's Allen

**Disclaimer:** Standard disclaimer applies.

**Warning:** Attempted Crack

**Note:** Because I am on a roll and cannot wait any longer to post it, here is the last chapter, everyone~

* * *

Allen ran into the safety of his room, locked the door and then placed his furniture in front of the door to ensure that Komui would not try to burst in with his drill. It was somewhat thrilling and scary at the same time to run away from overprotective Komui and his army of Komurin.

"Didn't I tell you?" Crown Clown sighed exasperatedly in an 'I-told-you' tone as he massaged his temple, and then ran his hand through his long silvery white hair. He ignored a surprised expression from Allen when he appeared out of nowhere. "World domination is impossible, and you're surely to fail. Actually, let me rephrase it: you have no choice _but_ to fail," he continued in a blunt tone.

"When did you say that?" Allen questioned with dotted eyes as he racked his brain to remember the memory.

Crown Clown let out a twitch his ever-so-forgetful host, and answered, "When you were talking about capes."

"…Do you remember, Uncle Neah?" the silvery white haired exorcist turned to the Noah, who was busy admiring himself in front of a full length mirror and making sure not a hair was out of place. When Allen did not receive a response, he mumbled, "That narcissist. I'll take that as a 'no'."

Neah pretended he did not hear his darling nephew calling him a 'narcissist', and resumed making sure that his hair was okay. He needed to ensure that he always looked awesomely perfect.

"Remember the 'Doomsday' feeling?" Crown Clown supplied with a sigh. Really, he had to wonder if he was the only one reliable from the group. Then again, he would not blame his dear Allen; oh no, if anyone was to blame, it would be Neah. Hands down… like, seriously. How _dare_ that Noah corrupt his innocent Allen…

Allen blinked in response as he mulled over what the other male said, and let out a gasp in realization, "Oooh! …Wait, how was I supposed to know that?"

"Allen dear, we've been together for how long?" Crown Clown inquired patiently with a not-so patient twitch.

"Since birth," the said person responded dutifully.

At that answer, the long haired Innocence nodded as he crossed his arms, and then asked, "Right… if we can communicate without words, pray tell me why you cannot discern what I was telling you then."

Allen sweat dropped in retaliation as he stepped back involuntarily at a smiling face of Crown Clown. The Innocence was crossed, and he knows it; although it was not Allen's fault that he could not differentiate the message then. "I'm sorry?" the silvery white haired exorcist supplied with a small pout.

"Well, because you are my Allen, I'll forgive you," Crown Clown responded with a defeated sigh. Really… the things he do for this kid.

"Oi, oi," Neah interrupted as he announced his glorious self once again, and continued, "Stop being mushy, you're making me sick. And you, keep your paws off my darling nephew." He directed the last phrase towards the Innocence, who merely scowled back in response.

"Why should I?" Crown Clown shot back with a glower as he tossed his long hair over his shoulder, and narrowed his innocence-green colored eyes.

Neah clicked his tongue in annoyed at the attitude; but nevertheless, he replaced his expression with a confident smirk. "Because Allen is my darling nephew," was what he said.

"So?" the Innocence responded as if his statement meant nothing, and added, "Allen and I been together since birth. So hah! We've been together longer than you."

"Oh really? I implemented my memories to his mother before he was born, and made sure that they get transferred to Allen," the Noah retorted as he stared down at the Innocence.

"Oh yeah? Allen dear relies on me more than you, and - " Crown Clown started before he got shoved away by Allen, who was scowling at the two.

"Jeez, you two act like little kids who didn't get the last cookie from the cookie jar," Allen chided as he pulled away the two arguing 'adults'.

"WE ARE NOT LITTLE NOR ARE WE KIDS!" the Noah and the Innocence shouted in response before the two realized that they had agreed on something together, and clicked their tongues in irritation. Once they realized that they had indeed done something together yet again, Crown Clown glowered at Neah, who did the same.

Allen rubbed his temple as he inwardly wondered how many strands had actually turned white since twenty minutes ago (and for the record, his hair is _silvery white_, _not_ white, mind you). "Now then, since we cannot dominate Black Order yet – the world is on the list, by the way – how about we try again?" the silvery white haired exorcist suggested with a grin.

"Sure, why not?" Neah nodded casually in agreement, and added as an afterthought, "This time, we'll be even more awesome!"

"We will not!" Crown Clown protested urgently at the same time as when Neah stated his consent. "Why can't you just be a good little exorcist and defeat the akuma?" the Innocence nearly pleaded.

"Because that's boring," Allen responded bluntly with a pout, and crossed his arms as he said, "Besides, it's not like we're doing any harm to anyone."

"…" that was his response, and Crown Clown could not help but added the word, 'Yet' after what his Allen dear said. In the end, the Innocence had no choice but to say, "I'll join… only to keep an eye on you two. _Especially_ you." His last two words were directed to Neah, who glared at the Innocence but did not bother to say anything.

While the two were having silent war, Allen was munching on his mitarashi dango (there were five plates full in front of him) whilst he was unaware of the tension behind him. After all, he needed to fulfill his hunger before he can take start his domination. Again.

* * *

**Note:** I hope you had fun reading this fic as much as I had fun writing it. Although I'm surprised I can finish a fic this fast (wow, it's only been a week since I started this fic). [laughs]

There will be a second installment to this under the title: "Allen's Perfect Guide to World Domination". Well, that's the title I thought of now, but it might slightly change in the future when I think of a better title.

And um... ideas are definitely welcomed.

Once again, thank you for reading, putting it on favorite, putting it on alert, and taking time to write me a review. I hope to see you on the second installment, which -if everything goes accordingly- will mostly be published this weekend. Please look forward to it.

**Edit:** The second installment is posted as of 9/27/2010.


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